For Lent I decided that I was going to read a mentally and spiritually stimulating book. I chose to read The Mountain of Silence: A Search for Orthodox Spirituality by Kyriacos C. Markides. I have had this book on my shelf for about two and a half years now, and I have been wanting to read it. I thought Lent was a good opportunity to get in touch with my Orthodox side.
Ben and I have a friend from college who took a course of which this text was the required reading. I remember how deeply it affected him and now being fifty pages in I am starting to see why.
The coles notes version behind the story is as follows. A born and raised Greek Orthodox man turns agnostic upon moving to the States, seeing the religious freedom, and assuming his faith was a product of the society he was raised in. He feels that there is a juxtaposition to having a faith and being and intellectual. He becomes an assistant professor of sociology and one of his colleagues introduces him to the thought of the East and yogi tradition of India. This begins Markides' realization that being religous and an intellectual are not mutually exclusive. Delving into the world of Transcendental Meditaion, experiencing mystical occurrences, and living in a village with a shaman for ten years doing field research in the lives of the peoples stretch Markides to alter his views on religion. During his stay in the village he witnessed many "miracles" such as the healing of a paralyzed woman, of which he nor doctors could explain. Markides' "change of heart about organized religion came with an invitation to go on a pilgrimage."(5) He acompanied a friend to a monastary on a "Holy Mountain" where he met Father Maximos. Markides later went to spend time with Father Maximos who had offered to mentor him. The novel is a series of discussions that he and the Father had.
My reading today was a discussion between Markides and Father Maximos on the proof of God. This was a challenging read. Father Maximos explains that "we would be utterly misguided if we believed in a God for whom there was no evidence of existence, a God that was utterly beyond our grasp, a God that remained silent, never communicating with us in any real and tangible way."(44) This is what humanity has searched for for thousands of years... how does this pious monk have the proof of the existence of God?
Father Maximos and Markides discuss Aristotle and his proof of God theory that there must be an "'unmover Mover' a primal cause that set everything into motion."(42) I seem to remember finding peace and solace in this train of thought in philosophy class so long ago. In a world where logical reasoning can spin you in circles it was something that I could hold on to. This was a train of thought in which gave me rest that there was a seemingly logical train of thought to the proof of God. This idea which Maximos shortly discredits as being an illogical way to prove such a thing. He argues that using our own logic to prove the existence of God is using the wrong medium to find such an answer. God must be experienced as opposed to discussed. (43) I do not believe that Maximos is saying discussing God's existence is ineffective, only that trying to prove his existence through reason is. He states that "Logic and reason cannot investigate and know that which is beyond logic and reason."(43) I believe that I have a cognitive understanding of this to a certain degree. I understand that there are things I know and feel that do not seem to have a rational logic behind them. Like the fact that I know there is a God. How? The cliche answer is that I feel it.
There have been times in my life where in the midst of a situation I have clearly felt the peace of God. Like the day my only sibling and brother died. This peace of God does not mean that my legs did not give way under me upon hearing the news of his motorcycle accident, nor does it mean I did not cry for days, weeks, or years even. It does mean however, that in the first moments of this tragedy that would change my life forever I immediately felt God communicating that it will be OK. He was not going to abandon me, He was bigger than this, and He could bring me joy once again. One of the first things I wanted to do was pray. I have since felt angry about the death of my brother, angry at my brother for leaving me alone, and angry at God, but somehow through all of it I never blamed God for "killing my brother." I always had a sense of His aching heart for what we were going through. I never had the feeling that He did it for some sadistic payback for some wrong doing. So in a sense I do know that logic and reason cannot explain God.
Maximos goes even further to suggest that we can prove the existence of God through experience. We can reach out and touch him and experience him first hand. He explains that a persons heart is the center of their "beingness, of our personhood. It is therefore through the heart that God reveals Himself to humanity." He explains that the philosophy of Plato and Aristotle may be great they are not the accurate path to revelation in God. "It is only cleanliness and purity of the heart that can lead to the contemplation and vision of God." Maximos then refers to Matthew 5:8 (NIV) "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." He explains that the proper methodology must be employed, and the purification of the heart from "egotistical passions and impurities" is required to investigate whether or not God exists. (44) It is only through this purification and humility that we are able to see and experience God fully.
"Whatever existential angst human beings may suffer from comes to an end once God manifests Himself in their hearts. Any Doubts, questions, philosophical dilemmas, and puzzelment about God's existence that are 'natural to the fallen state' simply evaporate with such direct contact."(47) Maximos explains that once a person has achieved pureheartedness, one can then experience the transformation of the heart through conscious prayer and spiritual practices. (47) It is only through the act of doing that one can fairly make a judgment as to whether or not God truly exists.
I believe that I have limited experience with this, I have a conviction that God exists and of His love for me. I understand that His grace is cleansing and covers all, that I have access to the Father anytime because of the sacrifice He has given for us. However, experiencing a life complete in a passionate and cyclical love with God I'm not sure is something I have fully experienced. To experience numbing and overwhelming love to the point that you can not take any more, and it is then turned into an outpouring of love unto others, is not something I can say I experience regularly.
Though I have just skimmed the surface of the conversation in the book, this concept is incredible, life changing even. Not because I can "prove" the existence of God but because I can experience God in this way. This is something that I have access to. Can you imagine if we could truly grasp this concept? Father Maximos discusses this with Markides as though anyone can just jump in and experience this kind of love and suggests that if we are not we are only experiencing an ideological faith. He claims that we must ask questions and seek the Truth. "Don't you think we would be utterly misguided...if we believed in a God for whom there was no evidence of existence, a God that was utterly beyond our grasp, a God that remained silent, never communicating with us in any real and tangible way?"(44) Yes! This seemed so clear!
I know that scripture claims that we can have intimate experiences with God but for some reason there is always this little lie in the back of your head that perhaps other people have been able to attain such experiences but it must take someone especially pious to share in an experience such as this. That is not true. In my quest for truth I have to figure out a way to claim this for myself. Grace, seems to be a major foundation stone to this. Our direct line to this love, confidence and freedom.
Food for thought...
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